The art of listening is underrated!

We live in a world that is fast paced. The way we communicate has changed.

A simple act, which is powerful, yet underrated, is the art of listening. This becomes especially crucial when dealing with individuals facing health crisis (physical & mental). At such vulnerable times, the gift of truly being heard can be one of the source of comfort & healing.

Listening, is more than just about hearing the words, its about understanding, empathy, connection, & listening to what is not being said.

Be present & give full attention. This also means that we put aside all distractions, tasks & focus. Your presence can convey your commitment to hearing them out. If on phone, trust me, the other party can feel it from our voice, if we are fully present, or distracted.

Avoid giving solutions. We have the best intention for people. The instinct would be to offer solutions/advice. But, keep in mind, in the time of crisis, what’s often needed, is a listening ear. The urge to fix things will be there, resist it! Allow the person to express fully. If unsure if they need your help, ask, how can I support you?

Throw the judgements out. Its always in human nature to form opinions or judgements. When we need to listen, we have a clear frame of mind. It’s a situation that is out of control for the other person, & not our place to have opinions. It may be tough, but we need to accept the fact that its their reality currently & we need to respect that. It’s how they are feeling at this point & it may not make sense to us at all.

Never say I understand how you feel. We will never know how they feel. What we can do instead is to acknowledge the emotions the person is expressing. Listen & repeat, ‘I can see/hear that you feel very heavy/stressed/painful/not strong’. Avoid be strong, stay positive, be strong for the kids.

Just ask the questions & encourage. All a person need is the space to let go & express themselves. Not the advice & motivation. We can give the encouragement to open up. Nod & say ‘tell me more’ & show that you are engaged & interested in what they say.

Silence is golden & powerful. Offer silence. It creates the space for the person to gather their thoughts & continue. Avoid rushing in to fill up pauses, instead, do let the silence speak for itself. Be patient while there is silence. Listening without giving solutions, & allowing silence requires patience on our part. Let the conversation unfold in the way it should be. We don’t need to hurry.

Psychological safety & creating a safe space aren’t rocket science. Creating a space for people to feel safe, heard & trusted is not about grand gestures. Its about listening with empathy & no judgement. Allowing the person to share with no fear.

This may sound to basic, but its a haven of support & understanding. This helps with healing & its an act of being there for someone in their time of need.